My family were not theatre-goers. I had never been to a play. Then, in 1980, in my Junior year of high school, I began seeing large posters around the campus at Clovis West High School, crudely drawn and lurid, with cryptic questions: “Why is Emory screaming?” As it turns out, these posters were clever advertisements for an upcoming production of The Bad Seed, a play by Maxwell Anderson, basically a horror story about an evil little girl named Rhoda Penmark. It looked very intriguing to me, a young boy who loved horror stories. I had always wanted to act, and they were holding auditions for this school play, so…I auditioned. I read for the part of Leroy, the handyman who is murdered by Rhoda, but did not get that part. At one point, I surreptitiously glanced at the director’s notes on my audition sheet and saw that she had noted that I would be good for the small part of Emory, Rhoda’s uncle. I took heart that at least I would be good for something in the play! I ended up not getting any role, but I followed with interest the unfolding of the production and went to see it twice. I also joined the drama club, Theatre West, and enrolled in drama class.
Drama class was, of course, very cliquish, as was Theatre West. Being shy and a bit overweight, I was not of of the popular kids. But I had a secret weapon: I could sing my ass off.
The next year, my final year of High School, I got the part of Felix as part of a “cabaret” show called “Food, Glorious Food”, and we did the “lasagna” scene from The Odd Couple. It went pretty well, and I had my first acting experience onstage. I did, however, forget to bring on the crucial plate of lasagna, but my scene partner, Alan, improvised and it all ended up working and getting plenty of laughs.
Next came “Godspell”, the final production of the year. Everyone wanted one of the 8 roles in that show. I gave a kick-ass musical audition, performing “Not While I’m Around” from Sweeney Todd (which was then, and still is today my favorite musical), and was rewarded with the role of “Jeffrey”. I was more excited than I had ever been, and my self-esteem soared. My social status rose a tad, as well, but not a whole lot. Now, not only was I fat and unpopular, but I was a nobody who had gotten a plum role in the show, just because I could sing…imagine that.
Godspell was a hit. Everyone loved it. During one rehearsal, I recieved reports that Dan Pessano, the managing director of Roger Rocka’s Good Company Music Hall, nearly rose out of his seat over my singing of “You Are The Light Of the World.” This report came from two girls who, previously, had really snubbed and ignored me. Now they were telling me “You have the best voice!” That moment cemented in me my love and desire of performing musical theatre. Until that moment, I had never felt talented or accepted. That same year, there was more to come.
The final senior project was to perform a scene from play. I was given not just a scene, but an entire one-act play to perform. Alan, my scene partner from The Odd Couple, and I had to do Edward Albee’s The Zoo Story. We brought the house down and recieved a standing ovation from the rest of the class. It was an unforgettable moment in my life. The applause was thunderous, and the cement of my love for the theatre became stone.
Following high school, I began auditioning at Roger Rocka’s Good Company Music Hall (The home of the Good Company Players)er It is the local Fresno, California dinner theater. They were doing a production of West Side Story. Due to my lack of dancing ability, I was not cast, but Dan Pessano encouraged me to keep auditioning. I ended up running the spotlight for the show. There are only two cues, and they happen at the same time…when Tony and Maria meet at gym. Nevertheless, I was thrilled to be a part of it and stayed up in that spotlight crow’s nest night after night and watched the whole show.
Then I audition for Cabaret and was cast in the ensemble. Very excited. I had a lot to do: Cab driver, Kit Kat club patron, Nazi…lots of small, fun roles. Following that, I was cast in Kiss Me Kate, South Pacific, Oliver! and The Sound of Music. I enjoyed every production.
That was it for a long time. It wasn’t until I moved to Sacramento, 8 years later, that I began auditioning for show again. Right out of the box, I got the lead role of Matt in The Fantasticks for Lambda Players, a brand-new GBLT theatre company in Sacramento. That performance got me cast in the lead role in the world premiere of an original play called Progressions. I also began auditioning for shows at Davis Musical Theatre Company in Davis, Ca. and got my chance to perform in Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, my afore-mentioned favorite musical. It was so exciting, and it was a fantastic production. That was followed up with my playing the role of The Narrator in Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods, and my first review in the newspaper. The Sacramento Bee called my performance “Perfect”. I was elated. I did a number of other shows with Lambda Players, most notably Demetrius in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. The Bee gave the show 4 starts and said that I was “Brilliant”. I could not believe it, so happy and thrilled. My last show in Sacramento was in a 1994 production of Bent, in which I played the drag queen known as Greta. That show also received 4 stars and was something of a triumph, artistically, critically and box-office-wise.
Then I moved to Portland. Life became about HIV and depression and drugs. That’s a whole other story (this post is about theatre). Once recovered from the above maladies, I decided I wanted, needed, to get back onstage. I auditioned for the role of Rooster in Annie, at a local theatre here and was handily cast. I had a lot of fun with the role, and received my first acting award: Best Support Actor in a Musical. Granted, it is an award that is limited to that particular theatre company, unlike the much more prestigious Drammy, which covers the whole Portland theatre community, but I was nonetheless THRILLED to get that award. Subsequently I was cast as Pirelli in my second production of my beloved Sweeney Todd, and went on to do A Little Night Music, The Music Man, Bye Bye Birdie, and The Most Happy Fella (for which I received my 2nd award - Best Featured Actor in a Musical). At Triangle Productions I did Naked Boys Singing (yes, an all-gay, completely nude musical) and Nunsense A-Men. Most recently I performed as Uncle Ernie in a concert version of Tommy, and played Brassett the butler in Where’s Charley. One of my most exciting theatrical experiences in town was performing in the cast of Jekyll and Hyde at Broadway Rose. Such a professional, wonderful show. Great group of folks.
Lately, things seem to have changed. I’m older, balder and fatter and I have had major foot surgery. I cannot dance anymore, not that I ever really was a dancer. I auditioned for the role of Jud in Oklahoma!, - a part I wanted so bad I could taste it - and did not get cast. Younger guys are getting parts that I used to get, which is as it should be.
So where does this leave me? There aren’t a lot of roles for older bears like me in musicals. So I am shifting my focus from musicals to straight plays. In order to do that, though, I am going to have to really work on my acting chops. Can’t get by on the voice anymore, it’s not what it used to be. I still sing really well, but my upper register is about shot.
It’s hard, in this town. Directors look at my resume and all they see are musicals, locally. I have done a number of plays, but those are well in the past. SO, I am embarking on my first actual acting classes, taken from the very talented actor and teacher Michael Mendelson here in Portland. The Meisner class I took last year was great, and very difficult. I was by far the oldest person in the class. I am taking a scene study class with him that starts Monday. Very excited to dig in and WORK on this play, Lonely Planet.
My dream would be to become an Equity actor, well-thought of and frequently cast. I have to convince these local Portland directors that I can do more than just sing. I have to have a chance to act and show what I can do. I have a lot of work and study to do to become the actor that I’d like to be. I’d love to travel and work at different regional theatres.
I may be older, fatter, balder, but I still have a dream. I, like you, have heard all my life that if you go for your passion, do the work, believe in yourself….you can get what you want. I want to be a respected actor. Up until now, I have been a performer in musicals.
I have some work to do, and I plan to do it. Wish me luck, send me good thoughts. Cast me in your show!
