CityWOOF

I went to hear Thomas Frank, author of “What’s Wrong with Kansas” and his latest book, “The Wrecking Crew”, which is about how the republican party is intent on dismantling the US government.  Very interesting, alarming, informative.

Walked into a local gay bar, Scandals, and found myself face to face with actor Udo Kier.  I’ve seen lots of his movies and recognized him right away, but the context was so bizarre that I had to ask him…”aren’t you Udo Kier?”  He nodded that he was.  He seemed very shy.  I got a chill just from seeing his face in person…he usually plays a vampire or some other sort of otherworldly being or bad guy.  I’ll never forget him in Andy Warhol’s Blood for Dracula.  I asked him what he was doing in Portland, he replied that he was in town to recieve an award from Portland resident Gus Van Sant.

I’ve got the moving bug again.  Won’t talk about that much right now, cuz it’s waaaay off, if it does happen.  I’m stuck in a lease until the end of January.  I’m looking at Texas.

It’s been terribly hot here.  Cooled off today, though.

My sex-drive is low.  And I’m broke until Friday.  Mood is fine, though.  I’m enjoying the Olympics.

Last night I got into my car with a friend and drove to a theater here in town to see my play onstage.  Not the whole play - the whole play isn’t written yet - but Act 1 Scene 1 was included in an evening of semi-staged readings from local playwrights called Blue Electric Storm.  The scene had been directed, had some blocking and was performed under lights for an audience with real actors.  There was a program with my name (well, part of it - they left off my last name for some reason)   The whole thing was quite thrilling for me.

The best part was witnessing the audience reaction, which was pretty strong.  It’s why you write a play - to affect an audience - and it sure worked.  The funniest part was…the scene is funny!  I hadn’t anticipated so many laughs, because to me the whole thing is very serious, but Kevin Scott and the rest of the cast wonderfully delivered the lines I wrote, and the laughs were many and strong. I think the closer you get to the truth, the more the natural humor can appear…and that’s the best kind of humor.

Anyway, it was inspiring, motivating and I really appreciate the Bluestockings and Portland Dramatists Workshop for including Fountain in the show.  There were lots of other really good pieces, too.  I was honored to have my work included among them.

Here is a meme from the land of Spo.  I think URspo wrote this one himself.  I’m filling it out.  Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Do you know how to play bridge?

No.  If I’m going to play cards, I like to play Spades or poker.

Were you forbidden as a child a certain thing that everyone else had?

Not really. We were Pentecostal and not supposed to listen to “worldly” music, but that didn’t seem to apply to the Captain and Tenille or Elton John.  If I’d brought home any ACDC or Blue Oyster Cult, that might have been another story.  That’s what my contemporaries were listening to…I wasn’t interested in hard rock.

Have you been to Mount Rushmore?

No. But I have been to the Grand Canyon.

What is the oldest item in your pantry?

I recently did a big pantry clean-out.  I found some very old stuff in there.  Pumpkin mix…like I’m ever going to make a Pumpkin Pie?

Despite many attempts, what can’t you understand?

Algebra.

Can I get you a drink?

A Fuzzy Navel, please. Thanks!

Have you seen someone die?

Not a person, but I did watch our beloved poodle Winifred die after she was hit by a car.  It was very, very sad.  We loved her so much.  She did not die pleasantly.

What A.A. Milne character are you?

I think I’m more Christopher Robin than any of the critters.  If I had to pick a critter, I’d probably be Piglet. I am a bad housekeeper.

Were you ever discriminated or turned down from a job because of who you are?

Yes. I tried to get into the Air Force a few years out of high school.  I went to the recruiting center for the physical and they all made a big deal about how flat my feet were.  Then a doctor took me into a room, laid me on my back, and proceeded to lift my legs, to see how high they would go.  No, I am not kidding.  He commented on “how flexible” my legs were.  They deemed me unacceptable for military service. Years later, it occured to me that during my senior year of high school, I had told all the recruiters who called to buzz off and that I was gay.  I’m sure it was in a file, and that’s why all that happened when I tried to join.

Do you own a fondue set? And do you actually use it?

I do not.  I don’t know that I’ve ever had fondue, honestly.  I probably have.  Not sure.

Go back in time and tell yourself “please oh please don’t do…….”

Don’t smoke that cigarette.  Don’t snort that line.  Don’t believe what your father says.

Is there anything you are or do that you actually thought you would be doing?

I always wanted to be an actor and a writer, couldn’t imagine myself not doing either.  I’m doing both.

Who made you smile today?

I haven’t seen anybody today except my dog Jesse.  He always makes me smile.

Edina Monsoon or Patsy Stone?
Patsy.

Bonus question –

You are on holiday. Do you

a) see the sights

b) go shopping

c) hit the bars

d) lounge by the pool

e) partake in physical activities like hiking or skiing or boating

I like to see the sights, shop, swim.

When contacting the Box Office for your theater/opera/concert needs and concerns, there are some things ticket buyers should know.  Disclaimer: These are my own personal views and do not necessarily reflect the policies or attitudes of any organization with which I may or may not be affiliated.

• It is not necessary to begin the conversation by announcing your name and/or status.  If needed, that information will be asked of you.
• Sometimes there are things we can do for you, and sometimes there are not.  I will discuss those.  However, it is important to know that if you are pleasant and courteous with the person assisting you, things that may not normally be done are more likely to be done. Doors can opened to nice people. If you have an unpleasant or “entitled” attitude, those same doors can quickly shut.  As the old saying goes, you get more bees with honey…or something like that.  Sometimes the “squeaky wheel gets the grease” adage does not apply.  Believe me.  Thank you for being a subscriber.
• If you miss your show because you could not find parking, or a babysitter, or your cat was sick or whatever…you are not entitled to tickets to another performance!  There is nothing more perishable than a ticket to an event.
• When you buy a season ticket package, do not take each ticket to each show and add up the admission price and facility fee and then call the box office to complain that you’ve been overcharged.  What’s printed on the ticket is what is required to be printed on the ticket by law.  It does not reflect that actual price of the ticket.  A season ticket package includes benefits that are not reflected on the actual ticket itself.  Your subscriber handbook has all this information.
• Speaking of the subscriber handbook.  It was designed and printed and mailed to you with your tickets so that you would have all the information you need for the season.  Read it!
• When attending a play or a musical or whatever…know what you are going to see before you go see it.  Yes, Avenue Q was not for children.  You should have discovered that before you went.  Do your own diligence if you are bringing children to the theater.  It’s very easy to do.  And NO, you MAY NOT have a refund just because you didn’t like the show.
• We do not exchange tickets on the day of the show.  Flying out of town today?  Did you not know this two days ago?  You waited too long.  You lose.
• Yes, theater is magical.  So is opera.  However, that magic does not supercede the laws of physics.  By that, I mean that more than one person or object cannot occupy the same seat at the same time.  I’m sorry that Orchestra Section C row T seat 5 is not available.  Someone else is sitting there! They bought the seat before you did.  Is it really that hard to understand?

Once again, courteousness and pleasantness will get you a long way at the Box Office.  Thank you for your kind attention.